Faith in God- day to day

 Trusting God for Day-to-Day Needs

Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Trusting God isn’t always easy, especially when we find ourselves in situations that feel downright impossible. Whether it’s finances, employment, or our daily needs like a home to rent or shoes for the children, we can be tempted to drop hints to those around us or “just vent” about our struggles. But here's the truth: God wants us to trust Him fully, which means keeping our needs between us and Him, no matter how bad things get. This might sound extreme, but that’s the kind of faith God is calling us to—an "all-in" kind of faith.

Regarding finances, we read in Matthew 6:31-33: “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’... For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Jesus calls us not to focus on our material needs but to seek His kingdom, trusting that God will meet every need we have. Matthew 6:8 tells us, “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” If God knows my needs even before I ask, why would I feel compelled to share our financial struggles with others? When we do, we risk diminishing the magnitude of God's blessing. Philippians 4:19 reassures us, “But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” God is not limited by human means; His provision is beyond what anyone could offer.

Satan can tempt us with many reasons to confide in a friend or a brother, but when we do, it often stems from fear or doubt. The enemy might present excuses like, “What if they can help me?” or “I’m not asking them for money; I’m simply asking them to pray with me.” These thoughts distract us from the full reliance on God that we are called to. In Psalm 37:25, David declares, “I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging for bread.” God's faithfulness endures, and He will not abandon us, no matter how dire our situation seems.

Employment is another area where we might feel tempted to seek help from others instead of turning fully to God. If you've just worked your last day and don’t know how you’ll provide for your family, it may feel natural to share your concern with others. The devil can tempt us with all kinds of suggestions to justify looking to a friend: “They might know of someone hiring” or “They told me to let them know if I ever need work.” These sound like reasonable thoughts. Yet, Scripture teaches us to trust God alone for provision. We should never resort to ‘human reasoning’ when we have Scripture to rely on. If we keep those backup employers stored in our minds, it becomes an insurance policy on our employment that we ‘cash in’ when times are tough. Psalm 121:1-2 says, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” Our help does not come from people, job applications, or acquaintances—it comes from God Himself, who holds power over every door of opportunity.

In Matthew 7:7-8, Jesus encourages us to ask, seek, and knock, promising that God will respond: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” But we must ask God, not man. When we make our needs known to people, we rely on human strength rather than divine providence. We must wait on God to open the door; Jesus did not tell us to open it. Our next job isn’t going to come because we nudged the right person; it’s going to come because God is our provider. We diminish our faith in God when we rely on someone else to “come through” for us.

Finding a place to live aligns with the same principles as finances and employment. Maybe you’re in a time crunch, and it seems telling friends or family about your housing situation could help. After all, “What if they know of a place or have a connection?” That’s what we tell ourselves. But here’s the truth: every one of those justifications is rooted in fear, not faith. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

It’s easy to lean on our own understanding and think, “Well, if I don’t tell people, I could miss out on a good opportunity.” But that’s not how faith works. Faith means believing that God already knows and He’s already working on it. If we truly believe that God is already at work, why would we want our earthly friends meddling in His affairs? Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Waiting can be hard if our trust is not fully on the God of the universe!

Faith in action means not letting our needs be known. Jesus taught us that our faith should be personal, between us and God. Matthew 6:6 says, “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” There’s something powerful about keeping our needs and prayers between us and God. When we start telling others, we take the situation out of His hands and give it to people. When we share our struggles, we open the door for Satan to keep our minds focused on the person we confided in and how they might help us.

When we start to rely on people, we settle for what they can do, which is small compared to what God can do. Ephesians 3:20 tells us that God is able to do “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.” So why would we want to limit Him by relying on people instead?

In summation, radical faith brings radical provision. It’s hard. Sometimes it feels like God’s timing is slow, and Satan tempts us to panic when we can’t see how things will work out. But Hebrews 13:5 promises, “For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” God’s not going to abandon you. He’s got you covered. And when you trust Him completely—keeping your needs just between you and Him—you open the door for blessings that no human could ever give.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” It can be easy to experience what the world calls ‘anxiety’ when waiting on God in faith. The world defines anxiety as “fear or nervousness about what might happen.” We know that ‘fear is a liar.’ In contrast to anxiety, God promises peace: Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

The Bible is laced with verses speaking plainly about full trust in God. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” When we trust in the Lord, we are rooted in Him, and we will not fear in the heat of the moment. We won’t be anxious in the drought, but will keep yielding fruit—the fruit of the Spirit, demonstrating faith by our actions (or inactions).

There are many solid verses in Scripture pertaining to faith and trust in God. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” 1 Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22 both speak of casting our cares and burdens on Him. Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” If we have a need and are trusting in God fully, nothing that takes place in our lives is wasted; nothing is for no reason. All these things are ‘working together for good.’

If we truly want to keep our faith in God, we should go to great lengths to avoid ‘slipping up’ and making offhand comments about our situation. Satan will present plenty of opportunities in conversation to mention our needs and tell us that “if it just comes up in conversation, it must be God’s will.”

If you’re in a bind—whether it’s money, a job, or finding a home—take a risk on God. Keep it between you and Him, and watch what happens. Because when you put your full faith in God, He won’t just meet your need—He’ll exceed it in ways you never thought possible.

-To God be all the glory

The 4 most critical years

 As parents, we choose to have children and therefore we are obligated to sacrifice almost everything in our life to raise, teach and protect them. The first 4 years of a child's life are the most critical for learning and developing and the reality is, that is the part of the father's life that he is still deep into his own stuff and by default letting the mother raise the children on her own. The amount of learning that takes place in the first 4 years cannot compare to any other 4 year period of their lives. In my opinion one of the most important things that must be taught by age 1 is your child must learn to communicate please and thank you. Without this elementary discipline they will instead learn that when I scream and cry I get what I want. This has been an incredible experience in the overall discipline of the children learning that crying does not get them more food, but communicating 'please' does. Teaching a 7 month old to communicate 'please' is not easy but with persistence it was proven 6 times in our home. As a father I can see the responsibilities and requirements from my perspective a lot easier and I do not give myself much slack when it comes to the importance of parenting with purpose. We have to parent our children intentionally, not reactionary. To be a reactionary parent is just cleaning up messes and fixing screaming fits, sitting the child down with a TV while we try to give candy to the other so shut them up. ALL of that line of thinking is wrong. As a father, if I ever give my child a screen or device because they are crying or begging, I'm WRONG and should be ashamed, especially if I give them the screen so I can indulge in my own selfish desires. The first and only line of defense against our kids growing up to be whiney, self-entitled, lazy brats looking for handouts who can't do anything for themselves is active, fully involved, only priority parenting. As a father, if I do not actively teach and train my children every day, I'm a failure. If I don't teach them something new and give an in-depth perspective on something, failure.  When it comes to work and responsibility, we have our work cut out for us there too. Once our children can walk, all they want to do is please their parents. They are like dogs at that age, everything they do they look up at us for approval. One of the biggest mistakes parents make at that age is they send them away because they are only slowing down the progress OR they don't actively give them small chores. What this does is it gets the children used to not working. In the parent's mind it is the right thing to do, I mean the kid is too young to make it worth it, right? What they don't realize is they are taking the most impressionable years and impressing on them that they sit around while mom & dad do the work, your welcome! If we give them work from 1 year old they will get in the habit and realize that it is normal to help with any and all chores in our home. Asking your 1 year old to put your shoes on the steps, asking them to put trash in the can or asking them to 'help' run the vacuum all give them satisfaction that they are making you happy. Yes, it will take you longer, but it's not about a clean house, it never was, it's about raising the kids that you signed up to raise. Dads have a habit of saying "I gotta babysit tonight". You don't babysit your own kids! You 'get' to spend time with your daughter or son. As dads we have an incredible opportunity to help mold and shape our children and guide them in whatever direction we choose. The scary thing is if we choose to neglect that responsibility and just check the box that we spent 5 minutes with them a few days or suffered through a tea party so now I can go play baseball, play xbox or hang with the guys, someone else will raise them. Speaking of Xbox, it's my opinion that no father should be involved in any gaming platforms as they are designed for addiction and take us away from our children, isolate us from family and steal time that we can never get back. Dad's if you are serious about your children and wife stay off the games! Do it for your family. Taking every opportunity to teach and train your children is a duty and an obligation, not something you can opt out of. Actively look for ways to engage and teach. As the father of 6 children ages 1 to 13, I can say that laying the ground work when they were 0-4 has paid off time and time again! When you see an 5, 6 , 8 or 10 year old that is an absolute brat, out of control, crying for and getting whatever he wants..... look at his father! By age 2 they should full well know that they get absolutely nothing when they cry for it. There is a way to get what you want, when you say "excuse me" and you "ask nicely". The answer may not always be yes but what they should get is an explanation that satisfies their inquiry. Ask any of my children "what do you get when you cry?" they will immediately reply "Nothing" because that is an absolute. It is beneficial to establish absolutes in your home, things such as "when you cry you get nothing", "Disrespecting your mother is a Really Really big deal!", "Hands in your lap and quiet until we ask the blessing at dinner", "It is never ok to argue with your parents" (we will debate, discuss and explain, but not argue).. etc. Establishing those absolutes allows firm, understood rules to be established. There is nothing more important than raising our children and there is no more important time than when they are 0-4 years old. Dad's, if you missed it, you will probably see evidence of it and pay for it for a long time. One last thought on your girls, 

Dads... Concerning your daughter, if you don't demonstrate deeply on a daily basis that you love her, she will find a guy who will convince her that he does..... 

i am 4th

Who is #1 ?

The way we're wired, our default mode is self-centeredness. We're born selfish, driven by our own needs and desires until we wake up to how backwards that is—always putting ourselves first.

As a Christian husband and father, my mantra is "i am 4th."

First, there's God—He saved my soul, gives me life, and every breath is His gift. I'm here to serve Him, depending on Him for everything.

Second, there's my wife. God gave her to me to honor and cherish. Every decision I make, I ask myself if it will bring her joy and serve her well.

Third, there are my children—my responsibility to nurture and raise in the ways of the Lord.

Fourth, there's me. A good husband and father, with priorities in order, serves God, cares for his wife, and focuses on his children before himself.

Some argue that putting "I" fourth is wrong, that we need "me time" to be better for our families. They talk about needing to reset or refresh. Honestly, that sounds like an excuse from those not fully committed to family. If they embraced being 4th, they'd find profound joy in serving their loved ones. They wouldn't need to golf or fish with buddies on Saturdays or indulge in solitary activities like sports, video games and hobbies while their family fends for themselves. 

Being 4th doesn't mean neglecting yourself—it means finding fulfillment in selflessness. Yes, we all need moments to recharge, but they should never overshadow our primary roles. Our time should reflect our priorities: investing in our marriages, bonding with our kids, and deepening our relationship with God. As men we love to indulge in many things, whether watching sports, eating food or reading books. I challenge you to evaluate the things you indulge in and ask yourself how they have directly helped you to be a better husband, father or follower of Christ? Read books that expand your knowledge of marriage, that help you understand your children and their complex needs. The book "365 connecting questions for couples" has been a good resource for us. It asks a questions each day for one year. We found it to be a great resource, and a great conversation starter. There were many topics that we may not have talked about if we had not read the book. Being vulnerable with your spouse is incredibly beneficial to creating an open, honest, deep, fulfilling relationship with your spouse. This book we incredibly beneficial. 

Don't resist bettering your relationship with your spouse! Other than God, this is the most important relationship you will ever have. Why would you not invest heavily in it. One husband responded to the book saying, "we read one question and threw the book in the trash. To bring up all those subjects would only mess up our relationship. Our relationship is really good wo why would we want to mess it up with that book?". All the while, any of their close friends, if honest, would have concerns about the relationship.  This person acknowledged they thought the being vulnerable with each other would jeopardize the 'good relationship' they had. I would argue that if a couple is not completely vulnerable with each other, their relationship is in jeopardy already! Through the years in my relationship each season I would think 'I couldn't imagine it could be this good', and each time I was humbled by how much better it can be. Complete vulnerability is key! To fully know and be fully known as best as humans can, is an incredible place to be. Where nothing can anger or annoy. A place where you both look out for each other so completely that there is never an annoyance. One couple I spoke to told me they have equal time for themselves. If one played golf for 6 hours on a Saturday morning, the other might hang with girlfriends for 6 hours. If one went out with friends one evening the other banked that for another evening with friends etc. I listened to this concept and felt sad. In all of this, they never mentioned the kids.. After talking for awhile I felt like this was a "i am first" relationship more than "i am 4th". The moment you act as though 'i am 1st, i am 2nd or i am 3rd', you are sacrificing obligations, responsibilities and duties to those you made promises to, God, your spouse and your children. 

When I hear "me time," I think about how Jesus withdrew to pray or sought solitude for spiritual renewal. His "me time" was never about personal indulgence but about reconnecting with God to better serve others. It's a different perspective—seeing our personal renewal as integral to our ability to love sacrificially, not as an escape from responsibilities. Keep in mind that we also cannot use this as an excuse! Fishing with the bros every weekend is not 'personal renewal so we can love sacrificially'. We might need new batteries in our barometer! 

So, when others insist on putting "I" before family, I challenge them to reconsider. True fulfillment comes not from prioritizing oneself but from embracing the profound joy of selfless love. It's in the everyday sacrifices, the late-night talks with a troubled child, the small acts of kindness to a tired spouse—that's where real fulfillment lies.

Let's redefine "me time" as moments of spiritual alignment and family connection. Let's find joy in being 4th, knowing that in serving God, loving our spouse, and raising our children, we discover the richest blessings life has to offer.

-i am 4th