Understanding Before Judgment

 

You can learn a lot about someone by how they talk, how they listen and even how they refuse to talk.

There’s a mindset that shows up too often in conversations:
Someone speaks first, assumes they already know what’s going on, and shuts down before understanding starts.

This mindset treats questions like they are attacks. Clarification is rejected with statements like "I already know what I believe". When explanations are offered, even written opinions, they are rejected and treated like a threat.  Their certainty seems like a shield instead of something to consider. 

That’s not dialogue. That’s a monologue made to look like a discussion.

Ask yourself, if explanation feels threatening, if it does, understanding was never the goal.

There are two mindsets and goals in a conversation:

The first mindset says, “I see enough to judge. I don’t need context. Your explanation is just excuses.”
That mindset brings division, misunderstanding, and resentment.

The other mindset says, “Help me understand. What am I missing? There may be more than I'm seeing.”
That doesn’t shut the conversation down or assume we are right. It simply insists we slow down long enough to listen.

This is key- Giving someone the benefit of the doubt in love isn’t weak. It’s wisdom. If you always give the benefit of the doubt, how can it not be a win-win?

When in that discussion, ask yourself this, 
What don’t I know yet?
Have I asked, or have I only assumed?
Am I trying to understand or trying to win?

Love doesn’t rush to judgment.
Love slows down long enough to understand. 

Slowing down and listening is not optional it’s essential. 

All glory to God —