Saturday, November 1, 2025

Add Hugs to Your Vocabulary

Growing up, it wasn’t normal to see my mom and dad be physically affectionate. My dad would give her a quick kiss when he got home from work, but not much else. I don’t doubt at all that he loved her deeply — it just wasn’t something we saw. 

The same was true for us kids. There wasn’t a lot of hugging or that kind of closeness. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t there. But looking back now, and seeing how I am with my own kids, I realize how big of a difference that really makes.

A hug, a hand on the shoulder, just sitting close — that stuff matters. I’ve made it a goal to change that in my own family. I make sure my kids know they’re loved not just by what I say, but by how I show it. I hug them, I hold them close, I want them to know they’re safe, seen, and valued. I do the same with my wife — in front of the kids — so they grow up seeing what love looks like, not just hearing about it.  And I’ve even learned to be that way with brothers in Christ too. A hug can say what words can’t. It says, “I see you,” and “You’re not alone.” 

I’ve read stories of grown men who said it caught them off guard the first time their dad hugged them — maybe at graduation, or their wedding — and told them, “I’m proud of you,” or “I love you.” It hit them hard because they had waited their whole lives to hear or feel that. Those moments stick forever. 

And our daughters — they need it just as much. Let your arms be the safe place they know they can always come to. I can’t say this strong enough: if our daughters don’t get that kind of affection, love, and affirmation from their dads, they’ll look for it somewhere else. If a girl doesn’t feel loved by her father, she’ll find a guy who convinces her that he does. I’ve made mistakes in this area myself, but I’m asking God to use what I’ve learned to help me do better — for my sons, for my daughters, and for any brother who needs the reminder. 

So brothers, let’s not hold back. Let’s make hugs part of our vocabulary again. It’s not weakness. It’s love made real — and sometimes that’s exactly what someone needs most.

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