The
same was true for us kids. There wasn’t a lot of hugging or that kind of closeness. It
wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t there. But looking back now, and seeing how I am with my
own kids, I realize how big of a difference that really makes.
A hug, a hand on the
shoulder, just sitting close — that stuff matters.
I’ve made it a goal to change that in my own family. I make sure my kids know they’re
loved not just by what I say, but by how I show it. I hug them, I hold them close, I want
them to know they’re safe, seen, and valued. I do the same with my wife — in front of
the kids — so they grow up seeing what love looks like, not just hearing about it. And
I’ve even learned to be that way with brothers in Christ too. A hug can say what words
can’t. It says, “I see you,” and “You’re not alone.”
I’ve read stories of grown men who said it caught them off guard the first time their
dad hugged them — maybe at graduation, or their wedding — and told them, “I’m
proud of you,” or “I love you.” It hit them hard because they had waited their whole
lives to hear or feel that. Those moments stick forever.
And our daughters — they need it just as much. Let your arms be the safe place they
know they can always come to. I can’t say this strong enough: if our daughters don’t
get that kind of affection, love, and affirmation from their dads, they’ll look for it
somewhere else. If a girl doesn’t feel loved by her father, she’ll find a guy who
convinces her that he does. I’ve made mistakes in this area myself, but I’m asking
God to use what I’ve learned to help me do better — for my sons, for my daughters,
and for any brother who needs the reminder.
So brothers, let’s not hold back. Let’s make hugs part of our vocabulary again. It’s not
weakness. It’s love made real — and sometimes that’s exactly what someone needs
most.
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