But the closest group was over an hour away. With work and family, that was just too much. Still, I kept
praying. And then a few weeks ago, I checked again--and saw that a new group had formed in my city, just
30 minutes away. I had no reason not to go.
That first visit was a great experience. The workout was rigorous--I was pushed to my limit. The devotion time
was encouraging and real. I left feeling uplifted. A few days later, our local leader sent us a link to the latest
Men's Alliance podcast. In it, the founder recapped their recent national gathering, where tribes from across
the country came together for a weekend.
That podcast stopped me in my tracks.
He spoke of sharing cigars with Christian brothers, of enjoying beers together, posting photos of it and even mentioned that
Men's Alliance now has its own branded cigars they hand out from time to time. As someone who had just
been studying the biblical temple--Solomon's in the Old Testament and our bodies as the temple of the Holy
Spirit in the New--I couldn't ignore the collision. So I went back to their website.
FAQ #20 hit me like a punch to the gut:
"I think smoking cigars is sinful and I believe Jesus turned water into non-alcoholic grape juice. Is Men's
Alliance right for me?"
Their answer: "NO."
No conversation. No grace. Just a flat rejection.
That's when everything came into focus. I saw this for what it really was--not just a men's group, but a culture with immovable lines drawn around indulgence. If you don't accept it, you're not welcome.
And followed up by the founder of Men's Alliance, David Mills saying "If you refuse to associate with a life-changing men’s ministry because they smoke cigars and have tattoos, just know that you’re sitting at the Pharisee table." .. Well David, just because you say it, does not make it truth. Scripture is truth, full stop. Scripture says do not defile the temple.. of which you are... Tattoos are not the same as smoking cigars as they are a one time permanent mark, and while they are definitely a defilement of the Temple of the Holy Spirit, they can be repented of and stopped getting more. Smoking and breathing smoke and toxins into the Temple of the Holy Spirit on an ongoing basis is an entirely different story. I am in no way saying I'm better than you as your pharisee statement would suggest. That type of comment is a slippery slope to allow all types of sin to creep in and shun all accountability from brothers. I know recovered drug addicts that started with smoking, I know recovered alcoholics that all started with 1 beer. They will all tell you that it started with one...
Hebrews 3:13 (NKJV):
“But exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
“But exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
The flat out "NO" negates the purpose of this verse, they ban exhortation by saying if you don't agree with us, you are a pharisee... don't come. ..
Are they on their way to being 'hardened through the deceitfulness of sin'? They promote smoking and drinking..
1 Thessalonians 5:22 (KJV)
"Abstain from all appearance of evil."
"Abstain from all appearance of evil."
Would a photo of a guy with a fat cigar in his mouth holding a beer appear to be Godly or evil? What's next smoking in the pulpit and beers in the church parking lot?
This open letter is a plea. A warning. A call to re-examine what kind of temple we are
building. If you've found this, it's likely not by accident. This blog isn't promoted. It lies hidden online, quietly
waiting for the one who was meant to read it. If that's you, may the Holy Spirit speak clearly.
As believers, we aren't our own.
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God,
and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your
spirit, which are God's." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20, NKJV)
That's not metaphor. It's not legalism. It's Scripture. When you intentionally inhale toxins for
enjoyment--especially as a leader of men--you're not honoring the temple. You're defiling it.
Let's talk about what Paul said:
"It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or
is made weak." (Romans 14:21, NKJV)
"Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble." (1
Corinthians 8:13, NKJV)
Paul wasn't just defending freedom--he was modeling spiritual maturity: giving up even permissible things for
the good of his brother. That's what real leadership does.
So what kind of leadership responds to conviction with "NO, don't come"?
Yes, Jesus turned water into wine. But He didn't build a brand around it. He didn't call men to Himself over
drinks and cigars. He didn't make fellowship dependent on comfort or indulgence. Jesus built His brotherhood on truth, repentance, self-denial, and mission.
Any group that builds its identity around cigars and beer, and then excludes anyone who challenges that, isn't
practicing Christlike strength. It's hiding behind Christian culture while refusing to be corrected.
It's not weakness to reject what defiles the temple. It's not legalism to pursue purity. It's worship.
A true tribe of Christian men will:
- Welcome conviction
- Pursue holiness
- Lay down freedoms for the sake of others
- Sharpen one another toward righteousness--not just ritual
What we normalize in brotherhood becomes the ceiling of what we expect from each other. If we lower that
ceiling with every cigar and cold beer, we are shaping a generation of men to confuse spiritual strength with
social comfort.
I pray that the man who's been quietly questioning would find courage.
That the leader who's gotten comfortable would be stirred awake.
This post is not for everyone.
It's for the one God sent here.
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