Mary Got it Right

 Luke 10:38-42

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
In church recently between drawing a dinosaur for the 10th time and doing a color by number with my little dude I hear Luke 10:38 quoted and it perked my ears up and I thought to myself "Mary got it right". She was not being lazy or shirking her duties & responsibilities, she was simply choosing what is better. And the end of the verse ".... but few things are needed". 
I think I come from a line of Martha's who can't sit down until ALL the work is done. And then when it's done we look around and try to find the little things that are there that bug us and clean those up. So many times I would neglect time with my children to do the dishes or run the sweeper or clean up the yard or garage. I could find a plethora of things to do thinking that as soon as I finish this chore I will sit down with the kids. Then 5 o'clock turns into 6 and 6 turns into 8 and then it's 8:30 and time to get the bedtime routine started. Many nights the chores and the things I thought were important were mundane cleaning or organizing, cleaning up clutter or doing yard work. Things that have no value when it comes to the spiritual welfare of my children. I could be sitting at the Master's feet, listening,, but instead I'm running here and there cleaning and doing chores in which Jesus said "few things are needed". When it comes to work at home or children we must choose children. I'm not saying that we no longer have to do chores or housework but that we should have a daily schedule and stick to it no matter what. It's a three-fold blessing- One you are setting aside a definite time with your kids for their sake, everyday. Two you are not risking running out of time for important things like Bible reading and prayer with them. Three you are conveying importance of things you choose for those times, like Bible reading, prayer, family time, game nights, movie nights and conversation. 
If an evening came to an end and the rug was vacuumed and the windows washed but the kids did not get the Word read to them, I failed. And yes, the many nights that I failed make my heart burn in my chest. Mary got it right, she did not care that the preparations were not under way or the house was not as clean as it should be, she was sitting at Jesus' feet, listening. It's time we take the time to sit as Jesus' feet Bible open or kneel at His feet in prayer just listening to what he has to tell us. Reading to our kids or praying with them at night. And oh, by the way, that's another whole topic about how you pray and speak to your children. The words you use with your children are a huge factor in the development of them as little humans. 
Make a plan. Here are some places to start with getting some Mary plans in the works regarding our kids. Got daughters? They are more fragile than boys. Dads, make plans for a one on one date night with your daughters at least once a month. Make a definite appoint to sit with your daughter every night, no exceptions, while she is in bed and let her talk, listen to what she has to say. Invite yourself in when she's little so you will still be invited in when she's a teenager. Moms, do girly stuff together. Crafts, dolls, sewing and anything else that is a girly thing to do. You have to guide them and help shape them into what little girls are supposed to be. If you don't , society will.
Boys? Make man time for them. Take them on a weekend trip once or twice a year, just dad and the boys. Fishing, camping or a convention about something they are into, a show or someplace they've been wanting to go to that requires a stay overnight or just make it require an overnight stay so you can get up and go out to breakfast. Your sons will only be young once. If we miss it now, it's gone forever. If we want them to have similar interests as ours we better start sharing our passion when they are 2, 3 or 4 and not try to get them interested when they are 16 and society and peer pressure already got them. All this said... be Mary, invest in spiritual things with your kids and your self. All this investment in your kids is listening to the Savior and really sitting and listening, like Mary. 
The Martha in us would want to stop and get everything just right with the house and yard and projects, the work never ends. The Martha in us never stops working. We always find something to get upset about and something to take our time and energy instead of what really needs to be done instead of focusing on the Word and the Lord. 
Mary got it right. I come from a line of Martha's that can't sit down and read if the dishes aren't done and can't play catch with the kids if ALL the work is not done. But Martha worried herself about unimportant things. Things that weren't needed. When we get invested in so much stuff that is not needed we try to cram it in our day and it only causes stress and stress causes a short temper,,,,, time to look at how Mary handled it, back up, sit down and listen. Jesus is waiting to teach if I would only listen. Too often we let the urgent take over what is truly needed. Spending time alone consistently with God and His word. Not once in awhile but consistently daily. As a Dad, a Christian and a husband there is a lot of unneeded things that can crowd out the truly important. With the Lord's help we can stop putting priority on the things that don't matter and focus on sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening, watching, reading and praying. With so many things and so many people vying for our time and our attention it is crucial to make time, prioritize and keep that time at the forefront of every day.
Mary did not stress over the things that 'needed' to be done, but instead sat and listened.

Sit and listen.

Christian Women Head Coverings

 

Growing up, I never felt the need to understand the significance of head coverings for women during prayer. My church taught it, my mom did it, so it seemed right. But now, as a husband and father, I feel a stronger responsibility to go back to the Word for guidance. The key passage on this topic is 1 Corinthians 11:2-16:

"2 Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you. 3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. 5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven... 15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering."

It’s important to read the entire passage to understand the context. Paul starts by reminding them to keep the traditions he passed down. While some traditions are cultural and tied to that time, head coverings seem to point to something deeper, especially since Paul connects it to headship: Christ is the head of man, man is the head of woman, and God is the head of Christ (verse 3). Then he goes into the specific instructions about head coverings for both men and women.

Verse 4 says that when a man prays with his head covered, he dishonors Christ. In contrast, verse 5 explains that a woman praying with her head uncovered dishonors her head, which I believe refers to her husband in the context of marriage. Paul makes a clear connection between the physical covering and the roles established by God. 

The idea of covering, whether it's for men or women, seems more than just a cultural issue. Some argue that verse 15 suggests a woman's long hair is her covering, which removes the need for a physical one. But if that were the case, why does Paul go into such detail? Why would he bring up headship if it were simply about hair length? And if hair is enough of a covering for women, what are men supposed to do—shave their heads? These are the questions that make me believe Paul is talking about a physical head covering, not just hair.

The argument that head coverings were just for the culture of that time doesn’t hold up well either. Cultures all the way back through Abraham’s descendants understood this as a physical covering, whether they were Hebrews or even later in Islamic traditions. It wasn’t just a matter of wearing a covering so Christian women stood out from the prostitutes, as some argue. Paul’s concern wasn’t about walking in public without a veil—it was about what happens during prayer. His teaching wasn’t limited to a cultural scandal but was rooted in God’s order.

Before Christ came, priests were instructed to cover their heads while praying, like Aaron and his sons who wore ornate turbans as part of their priestly garments (Exodus 39:27-31). But after Christ, the order of headship shifted, which is why Paul says men shouldn’t cover their heads anymore. It’s all connected to the headship of Christ, God’s plan for authority in marriage, home, and the church.

It’s interesting that veils and head coverings were common practice in most Christian communities up until the mid-20th century. The cultural changes of the 1960s and 70s, along with the rise of feminist movements, led to a shift. Women started rejecting symbols of submission as they pushed for independence and equality. Churches, instead of holding firm to biblical teachings, started relaxing these requirements, often to please congregants. For instance, in 1962, the Catholic Church stopped requiring head coverings during Mass, and many Protestant churches followed suit. 

So why did this teaching suddenly become “cultural” in the 1960s? If Paul was only talking about hair or addressing a local cultural issue, why did nobody understand it that way for nearly 2,000 years? The timing of this shift seems more influenced by society than by Scripture.

It’s also clear that Paul didn’t see this as just a cultural practice. Verse 10, “For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels,” shows there’s something spiritual at play. We may not fully understand the reference to angels, but it’s obvious that it goes beyond culture and into the realm of spiritual authority and order. It’s a symbol of submission to God’s order and much like baptism or communion, It’s not about salvation, but it’s a public statement of a deeper belief and commitment.

When people argue that Paul’s teaching on head coverings was purely cultural, they’re dismissing the theological significance he placed on it. As Christians, we are required to let Scripture speak for itself, not adjust it to fit modern norms.

I believe the reason the practice of head coverings has been abandoned by Christians in general is tied to a deeper rejection of God’s order of headship. Many families today operate with the wife in charge in the role God gave the man, resulting in the eventual rejection of a head covering. We hear things like, “This is what works for us,” as an excuse for the woman to take the man’s God appointed place. God’s Word and commands are what matter—not whether the wife is a better decision-maker or head of the household. The outward symbol of a head covering can be a reflection of the deeper submission to God’s order, and when we drop the symbol, the meaning often goes with it. Paul didn’t say, “Grow long hair so we know you honor your husband.” He said to wear a covering to show you honor God’s design for headship.

To conclude, 1 Corinthians 11:5 says: “But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.” This isn’t just a cultural teaching; it’s rooted in God’s order laid out in verse 3, which remains relevant today. If we believe that man is still the head of the woman, then a head covering is still a valid practice.

This isn’t about being legalistic or trying to hold onto old-fashioned traditions. It’s about acknowledging God’s design and reflecting that in our actions. Husbands need to lovingly teach and guide their wives in this area, not submit to cultural pressures or modern ideas about equality. Would a woman be ashamed to walk into church with a shaved head? If so, she should also feel ashamed to pray without a covering, not because of man’s approval, but because of what God’s Word says.

If Tomorrow Never Comes..

 

If tomorrow never comes...

Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She's lost in peaceful dreams

So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind

If I never wake up in the morning

Would she ever doubt

The way I feel about her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face this world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life

Who never knew how much I loved them

Now I live with the regret

That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself

To say each day how much she means to me

And avoid that circumstance

Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

'Cause if tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face this world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

If you want to hear the real version of this song check it out here CLICK LINK on you tube then read on...  

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring."  Proverbs 27:1

That verse comes the closest to saying straight up "tomorrow is not promised". All of us have lost loved ones long before we thought it was their time. Fathers, mothers, husbands, wives,  brothers, sisters, friends or children, the list could go on. If we lost someone close do we really know how much they loved us? Do we say they loved us because it was something that we 'knew' even though they may not have said it or showed it very much? Were they one of those 'but you know how I feel about you' kind of people that did not show affection or say I love you? If that is the case it leaves a sad heart. 

This being written by a husband everything is written about a wife. But their are some wives that need a wake up call in the love and affection department and to show their husbands the respect, honor and love that the Bible commands.

We are not promised tomorrow and tomorrow may not come! That is a sobering thought that tonight when we lay our head down next to our wife, kiss her goodnight and close our eyes, we may not wake up to see her again. God may call us home. Or our wife may be called home. It is a real true possibility because no one knows the time that each of us has left on this earth. If that did happen, if I did not wake up tomorrow, would my wife know how much I loved her? Did I try in every way to show her every day that she's my only one? I have a marriage vow and a commitment and promise made before God and friends to honor, love, respect and protect her and there is no place for division in those vows! If we break them what else is left that is sacred. Like I say to my kids "A promise is a promise". In other words when you make a promise there is nothing greater and there is no excuse not to keep it, after all, a promise is a promise. I've been married for just over 7 years and while that seems like a short period of time, I hear people that are getting divorced say "We made it 10 years, we did good"? What? We have only 7 years in and we are just getting started!! In those 7 years you spend a lot of time around a wide variety of people and couples in a variety of places in their relationships. Some just married, some married 20 years, some engaged, some dating and some just starting to date etc. We notice little things about couples, it could be strangers or someone we are out with and we discuss these things... I'm sure you all do that. Some things blow me away the way some guys treat their wives (and vice versa).... and this is in public! Guys, the way you treat your kids and you wife around others will be multiplied when you are at home. Ever at a friends house and he 'tells' his wife to do something while he relaxes with the guys? "Hey 'wife' put the coffee on". " Hey  'wife'  the dishes need done".  'wife' the baby needs changed, 'wife' I want dinner on the table when I get home from work. The list could go on and on. Guys, your wife is your bride, your gift, the love of your life, your treasure as Solomon says,  the queen of your house, the mother of your children and the one you vowed to honor, respect and love with all of your heart!! If you even make a request or demand of your wife without the word please and end it with a question mark you don't deserve the woman that she is. Plain and simple you don't! You deserve the frying pan maybe but not that woman's love. Guys, our wives should be our top priority with only God above her. Someone once told me the priority list should be, "God, wife, kids" in that order. My thought was,  "He only says that because he does not have kids at home to deal with and prioritize", but later I realized how right he was. A kid centered home is a home with priorities out of order and you marriage will suffer. The stress builds up and you take it out on each other. Sarcasm sneaks in, finger pointing and blame. I was told by a husband that his wife would ask the same question all the time that he didn't have the answer to, his response was a sarcastic one that she knew wasn't serious. She would walk away and make her own decision on the matter and go on. After this went on for awhile he asked her "When I answer like that does it annoy you"? She answered "yes". He said "I thought you would have gotten the hint then". Come on man!! Is this really the relationship you want with your bride? With the limited time husbands spend with their wives on an average day, you are going to choose to use sarcasm instead of telling her how you really feel about her question? Communication is key.

"If I never wake up in the morning, would she ever doubt the way I feel about her in my heart?" 

There are two types of marriages and when I explain these two types our minds will race through all the ones we know and sort them out, and of course we see our own as the second type. But is it really? Deep down? The first type is what I call a business agreement marriage. The husband and wife both feel the same way about most of the main issues in life, they both want the same thing when it comes to kids and how they are raised, they have very similar wants and desires that they've talked about anyway. They 'get along' great and don't argue too much. She 'listens' to him and his final say. Most of the time they have no real issues to speak of..... but the marriage lacks,,,,, what's the word,,,,, lacks real substance, real passion, real love, real active pursuing self sacrificing daily affectionate passionate love. "But we have kids"..... bull crap! Kids only enhance it! Any couple that uses any excuse of why their marriage is anything less than type number two maybe shouldn't have gotten married.  It is a marriage that 'works' but is there actually anything else of value to it? Have you ever been around a married couple a lot and thought to yourself "I've never seen them touch each other, flirt, hug, kiss, laugh, snuggle........... and I've seen them a lot"? Where did the kids come from? ha. That's the first type!

The second type has a husband who makes his wife his first priority everyday. He never stops thinking about her and ways to make her happy, ways to honor and respect her. He tells her 5, no maybe 10 or 15 times a day that he loves her and makes sure she knows just how much! He demonstrates what love is to his kids and how to love a woman and their mother. He demonstrates by example that their is no place in our home for demands no matter who is talking or who is being talked to (except maybe in the bedroom) ha! They talk about things that upset them and work them out. He does everything he can to make her life and work easier. He is passionate about his wife and makes time for her. This second type of marriage prioritizes time together, daily, making it a priority to spend the last hour or two together to talk and enjoy each others company. Actively working things out so he can date his wife. Before you were married, you spent a lot of time together, you dated, you went to dinner, you spent time alone talking and playing games, you got her gifts and flowers... why did that all stop?? Don't say anything about your kids! Don't use them as an excuse of why you don't pursue your wife, why you aren't in love with her or why you don't passionately demonstrate your love and devotion to her everyday!  A husband once related to me how his wife never did this, always did that, beat him down, wore him out etc etc and he asked me how my wife and I get along so well. I told him I had a fail proof  plan for a great marriage. If everyday you both get up and think what you can do to make the others day better, never think of yourself, and in everything you do, do it for each other...... how can you go wrong? His response "Oh, well I could do that but she would never do it for me so it would never work". That, is a type 1 marriage that will probably never change. Husbands! you need to prioritize your wife, never stop thinking of her, never stop complimenting her and loving her no matter if she reciprocates it or not! It's all about how YOU treat her! 

If tomorrow never comes will she still be angry at the moron you were last night? Will she still be pissed because you yelled at her for not having dinner on when you got home?  Or will she remember how much you loved her without having to convince herself that you really did? Don't be one of those guys who tells your wife you love her once or twice a day. I don't care if you've been married for 45 years or just got married. Time should not matter when it comes to holding your bride, loving her, enjoying her, romancing her, thinking of her, kissing her and being her man, always thinking of ways to be of service to her! 

Every day, every minute you are around your bride treat her like tomorrow might not come, cause it might not! Make sure she knows what you think she knows. Treat her like the treasure that she is. Tell her again and again. Ask her if she knows. Tell her. Show her. Tell your children how much you love their mother and demonstrate it in their presence. Show them how to really love and respect a woman. If you have boys this is of monumental importance that you demonstrate how to respect and love a woman. Womanizers are not just something that 'happens'. If you know a man who disrespects women you have to wonder where his dad was during his growing years. When it comes to loving your bride tell her and show her so much that that smile and glow don't go away and when it does it lights back up again.

Acknowledge what your wife does. What she does for you, what she does for others and what she does for your family. Acknowledge and thank her when she does the dishes.......... "But that's her job, why would I thank her for doing what she is supposed to do?" You thank her because she IS doing the job that she is. Taking care of a house and family is no small task and a woman who chooses to do so deserves our thanks and appreciation. Even hear a guy joke around that 'the woman belongs in the kitchen'? He may make it out to be a joke, but I bet that if you were a fly on the wall you'd find out that he may only say it as a joke, but the attitude demonstrated in the daily grind says different. If tomorrow did not come would she suddenly feel free of your pressure to meet your standards when it comes to housework? Is she free to make her own rules and set her own schedule? Don't be a regret but instead be a joy to be around. Several wives have told me that if they could do it all over again they would never get married, they'd stay single their whole life. I questioned that maybe with the right person it would be different. They both had similar answers that no guy would be better than their current husband. How wrong they are but they will probably never know it! Don't be that husband that your wife despises. Be a breath of fresh air when you arrive home, not one of those "Here we go again" kind of husbands. Don't try to change her to be like you, it's not easy. Remember that the easiest thing for you to do, is be you. It's not easy for her to be you.  Thank her for everything she does, love her for who she is, date her, pursue her, treat her like your treasured bride that she is. That smile should not go away!

Tomorrow may not come. So each day. Live it with your wife in a way that if tomorrow does not come, with no words or convincing she will know in her heart and the world that witnessed your marriage will know the way you felt about her.

As a follow up note:

If all this sounds good but you find your spouse not responding to what you feel is the ultimate way to show love, maybe you just aren't speaking their language. More specifically, their Love Language. If that intrigues you, click this link and take the quiz http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ 

A Dedicated Father's To-do List

 As a father there are many things pulling us in many directions all the time. The good ones, the conscientious ones and the honorable ones should have a to do list that outlines the good and worthwhile things that should be in every father's life. The following is a basic list of things that should be followed in every father's life as a beginning to success. 

Every year:

• Take your boys on a weekend trip in nature; just you and them. From the time they are 4 years old make it a priority to get together with them for guy time. As a dad how many times did you say, "don't tell Mom!"? From a boy's perspective imagine an entire weekend of that! Camping, hiking, canoeing or any other outdoor activity you enjoy together. As a dad, the hobbies you had as a bachelor are no longer valid unless your kids are into them too. And even then, some hobbies are not valid as a father. Video games, in my opinion, have no place in the life of a man with children, in fact they should have little, possibly no place in a child's life either. The intentional highly addictive design of this type of entertainment is dangerous. Video games, social media, alcohol, drugs.... all of these things have been found to have the same highly addictive nature and each addict will say "Not me, I have it under control". Participants in each one of these possible 'escapes from reality' triggers a release of dopamine to the brain which is the 'feel good' chemical. 
• Spend an entire day or two with just your girls. Girls need their father's time and attention more than boys do. It's been proven over and over by neglected girls who turn to many things to replace the physical love, affection and time of their father. Majority of girls who end up pregnant before marriage were neglected by their fathers. You may think that you do not neglect your girls because you are home most evenings and you don't purposely leave them out, but if you do not purposely spend time with her, just you and her, on a regular basis, you are neglecting her. A friend once told me in regards to my oldest daughter who was 7 at the time "Spend time with her, don't push her aside because you are busy, it is so easy to tell her to entertain herself or take care of this or that because she is the oldest and you know she will just entertain herself. But if you do the results are not good". He went on to tell me how he found himself in a situation with his oldest daughter, with a few younger kids he would always tell her to go read a book or find something to do or help with the kids.. He was always 'present' in her space but was not 'present' in her life like he wished he had been...  She wound up pregnant before marriage....  Girls will seek what they do not receive from their dad, whether it's time, attention or physical touch. 
  
• Take a weekend vacation with just your wife. It is proven that the one who understands the most gets neglected the most. In a family, when it comes to a husband's time, it's his wife. She sees the same needs you do and therefore understands when she comes last. But in the same way that you should teach your children that their mother is the most important person in the world, you need to treat her that way. One weekend a year with just the two of you, unwind, leave the worries and care at home and be together. 

Every month:

• Date your daughter! From the time they are 4 years old; separately if you have two or three- time out, away from the home and family with just the two of you. Not randomly tagging along when you go food shopping but intentional time, explaining that it is date night.  Let the conversation go where she takes it. Have an open mind and if you've been teaching her since 2 years old to ask any question and you'll give her an answer, this time could be golden. Prepare yourself to listen and not interrupt. Having done this for over 8 years with one daughter and 3 years with the other.. It is something I look forward to maybe more than they do. Daughters can fall through the cracks when it comes to fathers. Having talked to my sisters and other women about their relationship with their father in comparison to their brothers.. almost always they speak as though they got the leftovers. And for the same reasons mentioned above, if it's not your time they get, it will be a boy's time before they are mature enough and he will want very different things than you do.
• Date your wife- For the same reasons that you go for a weekend trip once a year, you go on a date once a month. 
• Get out in nature with your children. There is not much more rewarding than spending time in God's creation. Whether hiking, biking, backpacking, fishing, playing, picnicking etc. there are a ton of things that you can do outdoors. 

Every week:

• Talk about your blessings- When we talk about our blessings we don't leave much time for complaining. Once you start you create a spirit of thankfulness in your children. Encourage your children to pray, ask them to ask the blessing at meal time and when they are done, thank them. That demonstrates please and thank you. When they pray instruct them to always start with thanking God for anything they are thankful for then follow it up with requests.
• Actively seek out ways to bless others. Everywhere you look you will see need and opportunity to help. "Do unto others.... " if we really were repaid in the way we blessed others would we be wanting in a bad way or would God open the floodgates of heaven... as he promised?  It does not start with God blessing us abundantly that we give and bless, it starts with accepting the promise, we give and bless then the floodgates are opened. God says "Test me in this...". 

Every day:

• Hold your children. Countless studies have been done and countless scientific proof has been presented that concludes that children that are held, touched, kissed and otherwise shown physical affection are much more likely to achieve more, be more confident, more caring, better spouses, more thoughtful and feel more secure and less likely to seek unhealthy fulfillment in others than children who are not. Being a dad is a choice, being a father is an obligation. You have the choice to have children but once you do, your life is not your own. 100% of your time, energy and anything else you got better be devoted to wife, children and the pursuit of their happiness. If you do not hug and hold your daughter from the time she is born until she has a family of her own, the chances of her seeking out a boy who will, skyrocket! If you do not, the chances of her getting pregnant out of marriage, skyrocket! By nature, girls need to be held and loved by a guy and, dads, if that man isn't you, it will be someone else and probably not the one you would choose. 
• Hold your wife, as much as girls need their dad when they are young, your wife wants to be held and needs you to hold her when you are married. Many times you may hear someone say they no longer tell their wife they love her because "she knows I love her". Of course she knows, of course.... right? But just like we teach our children that actions speak louder than words... but what if actions AND words are missing? Is it just the assumption that the default is in play here? No, that is how you drift apart, that is how your eyes start to wander and you convince yourself that the grass is a little greener somewhere else.. Tell your wife each day "I love you". 
• Kiss and hug each of your children- Again it's back to physical touch and physical affection and children by nature need and desire that. Take that away and they will turn into some weird kids that get funny when you hug them. Know a kid that gets nervous or funny when you hug them and tell them you love them? Trace it back to their parents... they probably didn't get kissed or hugged or told 'i love you' very often. 
• Read to your children- All of these things involving children have one common theme: Spending time with your children. Read to your children before they can read to help develop a love for reading, a curiosity in books and a desire to learn. When they get older you need to encourage the love of reading and encourage true and wholesome books, not fantasy books or books that have no educational or spiritual purpose. Purely entertainment books are just that, purely entertainment and while there is nothing wrong with them in and of themselves we could think to ourselves "how could I better redeem the time". 
• Have private, no kid, time with your wife- Every day a priority of mine is to spend time alone, no kids, no interruptions, time with my wife. Kids will eventually realize that this is their time and I am not allowed to interrupt. Guys, remember, as hard as you try, you will 'not listen' or 'interrupt' so make a concerted effort to shut up and listen. If you say you are interested in hearing what your wife has to say, prove it by closing your mouth and listening... listen to hear not to respond.
• Pray with your family- I find that praying with your family is such an important aspect of a believer's life. Talking to God like you talk to anyone is a great way to teach your children that God is here with us now and always and he is just a thought away. When praying, speak to God like you'd speak to another person sitting next to you, be clear, plain and explicit and use this time when those kids are tuned in and focused to teach them profound principles of truth. Always thank God first and then ask. This is setting the example that we are to be thankful people first, thankful to parents, siblings, teachers, friends... Eventually when they approach you to ask for something the spirit of thanks will be present and it will help shape the way they ask for things, in a more thankful way. 
• Teach your children to say please and thank you- from an early age, children can be taught anything we choose to teach them. Gratitude is one of the easiest things to instill in a child as being right and normal. We teach our babies to say please in sign language starting when they are less than one year old. We go through many dinners that are loud and frustrating for the baby. Physically moving their hands in the sign of please and then giving them the bite will eventually cause them to make the connection that when they do that motion, they get what they want. I had one person tell me they would never teach their kids to sign 'please' because by the time they finally caught on, they could talk anyway. They missed the point! The point is never to teach them to sign, it is to teach them to ask politely for the things they want. Soon after they grasp the concept of please it is simple to add on the concept of gratitude and thanks. Throughout their childhood you can constantly maintain their sense of gratitude and their polite nature in asking please by inconveniencing them. Inconveniencing a child is one of the more effective ways of reminding and instilling right behavior. If they fail to say please you can wait until they do or not fulfill that request because of the absence of 'please'. If they fail to clean up their dishes as asked to do and you realize it when they are in the middle of a game or in bed, you can ask them to do it at that moment. If you give them the chance to wait until it's convenient for them or when they are done the game, odds are they will forget again. Inconveniencing them is a good way to make an impact. Children who have say please and express gratitude have a much better chance to being well behaved in other social settings. 
• Read the Bible to your children- As with any other setting in life their are always opportunities to teach or children if we look for them. "talk about these things when you rise up, when you lie down, when you come and when you go and when you walk on the way". The bible tells us to talk about the things of God all the time with our children. 

All the time:

• Actively look for ways to serve your wife- In doing this you will demonstrate love and commitment. Not only do it but find joy in it. 
• Actively look for ways to sacrifice for your wife and children- Just like serving your wife, sacrificing is an act of love. Putting aside the selfish things you want to do and serving them instead is above rewarding. Whether it be sports, hunting, fishing, video games, work or any other thing we like to do we have to remember that family is first and always. Not first where we depend on our wives to tell us when she needs us to 'help out' and put aside our childish desires, but first like it is first in our mind. 1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." We are not children anymore, at least we are not supposed to be. If our wives ever tell us they need us to put away the hobby, cancel sports, not hunt every weekend, pause the video game (which have no place in a father's life anyway) or many other things, we fail our wives. We need to be the man of the house taking the leading role, not a followup role to our wives. Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church..." It does not say husbands submit to your wives.. Although don't get me wrong there is much to be said for a husband who is aware of his wife's feelings, beliefs and desires and sacrifices his own for her when it is not a scriptural issue. 
• Honor your wife in word and deed. So much so that there is no doubt in your wife's or children's minds that you love them unconditionally. 
• Encourage your kids to ask questions- From the first time my oldest daughter had comprehension I encouraged her to ask questions. I went on to thank my children for asking questions and explained in depth whatever they wanted to know. There may be many things that you want to explain to or talk to your kids but if you set up the time and place and bring up the subject it might be awkward at best. If your child asks you the question... you have a captive audience. You can talk and segue into any other subject you'd like. I explain that no topic is off limits and I will be honest and tell them the truth and that if there is ever anything they don't understand, just ask. It has been incredibly rewarding to help create understanding children who have a broad knowledge of many subjects. As a father you have an awesome responsibility to teach and train, so never stop talking to your children. As a father, if I do not teach my children something new everyday I consider myself failed for that day. We have a bedtime routine where the boys will ask questions or request stories of when I was little etc. All these things are prime opportunities to teach and train. Don't pass them up. 

Love Like 1 Corinthians

 Love is a crazy thing. How do we really know what love is? When we are growing up we might often wonder if we really love someone. We say the words 'I love you' to parents and siblings but do we really know what they mean, the depth and magnitude those words hold. Webster's dictionary defines love as "a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person". I don't know.... that doesn't sound like the real definition of love. So we look to the place where we seek all our answers, the Bible.

1 Corinthians says "...... if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing". In our trials and tests we often pray for faith the size of a mustard seed and we are pretty thankful when we get the victory we are praying for. Imagine what faith that can move a mountain would do? And yet Paul writes to the Corinthians that we could have all the faith in the world but if we do not have love, we are nothing. Not just less or a disappointment or something minor, just flat out nothing. And again in verse 3 Paul writes "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." We can give all we have over and over to obey scripture and help everyone we ever know is in need, but if we do it without love, it's worthless, we should have just kept it all. We can do many things in our life and may seem like a really good person, but all that done without love is worthless and we are nothing.

Further in 1Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails".  Now that's a better definition than Mr. Webster could ever write. If we ever had the thought pass our mind "do I really love them?" Or if we say we love someone but don't show it, that verse clears it up pretty quick. Love is patient. How often do we lose our temper, get annoyed at our spouse or secretly wish they would hurry up. Are we ok with our kids or spouse taking as long as they need to learn something or figure things out? Or does our patience wear thin when they don't snap to it. Our level of patience would indicate if we really loved them. Love is kind. Are we compassionate and kind? Do we speak kindly to our kids and spouse or anyone we meet In a day? Do we have a kind heart that sees needs and react? Love does not envy. When someone we know or our spouse gets a better shake than we do or has better things or can afford nice things, do we envy them are we jealous of their blessings? Love does not boast. Bragging, boasting and gloating have no place in the mouth of one who truly loves. Are we always bragging about the things we do or always talking about the 'things' we bought?  All we are doing is saying how great we are! We are not great. That's not what we were created to do. That's not what we were created to be. Love everyone in your heart. Have divine love in your heart for everyone. Genuinely desire the best for each and every person you meet. If someone has something against you or treats you badly... bless them. Love never fails.

Faith in God- day to day

 Trusting God for Day-to-Day Needs

Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Trusting God isn’t always easy, especially when we find ourselves in situations that feel downright impossible. Whether it’s finances, employment, or our daily needs like a home to rent or shoes for the children, we can be tempted to drop hints to those around us or “just vent” about our struggles. But here's the truth: God wants us to trust Him fully, which means keeping our needs between us and Him, no matter how bad things get. This might sound extreme, but that’s the kind of faith God is calling us to—an "all-in" kind of faith.

Regarding finances, we read in Matthew 6:31-33: “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’... For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Jesus calls us not to focus on our material needs but to seek His kingdom, trusting that God will meet every need we have. Matthew 6:8 tells us, “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” If God knows my needs even before I ask, why would I feel compelled to share our financial struggles with others? When we do, we risk diminishing the magnitude of God's blessing. Philippians 4:19 reassures us, “But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” God is not limited by human means; His provision is beyond what anyone could offer.

Satan can tempt us with many reasons to confide in a friend or a brother, but when we do, it often stems from fear or doubt. The enemy might present excuses like, “What if they can help me?” or “I’m not asking them for money; I’m simply asking them to pray with me.” These thoughts distract us from the full reliance on God that we are called to. In Psalm 37:25, David declares, “I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging for bread.” God's faithfulness endures, and He will not abandon us, no matter how dire our situation seems.

Employment is another area where we might feel tempted to seek help from others instead of turning fully to God. If you've just worked your last day and don’t know how you’ll provide for your family, it may feel natural to share your concern with others. The devil can tempt us with all kinds of suggestions to justify looking to a friend: “They might know of someone hiring” or “They told me to let them know if I ever need work.” These sound like reasonable thoughts. Yet, Scripture teaches us to trust God alone for provision. We should never resort to ‘human reasoning’ when we have Scripture to rely on. If we keep those backup employers stored in our minds, it becomes an insurance policy on our employment that we ‘cash in’ when times are tough. Psalm 121:1-2 says, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” Our help does not come from people, job applications, or acquaintances—it comes from God Himself, who holds power over every door of opportunity.

In Matthew 7:7-8, Jesus encourages us to ask, seek, and knock, promising that God will respond: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” But we must ask God, not man. When we make our needs known to people, we rely on human strength rather than divine providence. We must wait on God to open the door; Jesus did not tell us to open it. Our next job isn’t going to come because we nudged the right person; it’s going to come because God is our provider. We diminish our faith in God when we rely on someone else to “come through” for us.

Finding a place to live aligns with the same principles as finances and employment. Maybe you’re in a time crunch, and it seems telling friends or family about your housing situation could help. After all, “What if they know of a place or have a connection?” That’s what we tell ourselves. But here’s the truth: every one of those justifications is rooted in fear, not faith. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

It’s easy to lean on our own understanding and think, “Well, if I don’t tell people, I could miss out on a good opportunity.” But that’s not how faith works. Faith means believing that God already knows and He’s already working on it. If we truly believe that God is already at work, why would we want our earthly friends meddling in His affairs? Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Waiting can be hard if our trust is not fully on the God of the universe!

Faith in action means not letting our needs be known. Jesus taught us that our faith should be personal, between us and God. Matthew 6:6 says, “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” There’s something powerful about keeping our needs and prayers between us and God. When we start telling others, we take the situation out of His hands and give it to people. When we share our struggles, we open the door for Satan to keep our minds focused on the person we confided in and how they might help us.

When we start to rely on people, we settle for what they can do, which is small compared to what God can do. Ephesians 3:20 tells us that God is able to do “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.” So why would we want to limit Him by relying on people instead?

In summation, radical faith brings radical provision. It’s hard. Sometimes it feels like God’s timing is slow, and Satan tempts us to panic when we can’t see how things will work out. But Hebrews 13:5 promises, “For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” God’s not going to abandon you. He’s got you covered. And when you trust Him completely—keeping your needs just between you and Him—you open the door for blessings that no human could ever give.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” It can be easy to experience what the world calls ‘anxiety’ when waiting on God in faith. The world defines anxiety as “fear or nervousness about what might happen.” We know that ‘fear is a liar.’ In contrast to anxiety, God promises peace: Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

The Bible is laced with verses speaking plainly about full trust in God. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” When we trust in the Lord, we are rooted in Him, and we will not fear in the heat of the moment. We won’t be anxious in the drought, but will keep yielding fruit—the fruit of the Spirit, demonstrating faith by our actions (or inactions).

There are many solid verses in Scripture pertaining to faith and trust in God. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” 1 Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22 both speak of casting our cares and burdens on Him. Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” If we have a need and are trusting in God fully, nothing that takes place in our lives is wasted; nothing is for no reason. All these things are ‘working together for good.’

If we truly want to keep our faith in God, we should go to great lengths to avoid ‘slipping up’ and making offhand comments about our situation. Satan will present plenty of opportunities in conversation to mention our needs and tell us that “if it just comes up in conversation, it must be God’s will.”

If you’re in a bind—whether it’s money, a job, or finding a home—take a risk on God. Keep it between you and Him, and watch what happens. Because when you put your full faith in God, He won’t just meet your need—He’ll exceed it in ways you never thought possible.

-To God be all the glory

Goodness of God

 Listening to the lyrics of Goodness of God, especially the part that says, "Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me," might make us wonder, "Does God's goodness really chase us?" It's a good question. Are we just the ones seeking God, or is His goodness actively pursuing us? Since it’s important to align our music with scripture, especially when teaching kids, it is important to look to the Word.

First, it’s important not to lean too heavily on our own reasoning when interpreting scripture. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." In Isaiah 55:8-9, God also makes it clear that His ways and thoughts are far beyond ours. So when something is in the Bible, we accept it. When it’s not, we have to be careful not to impose our own ideas on it. That’s why it’s risky to say, "Well, it makes sense that..." when talking about God. Scripture, which is inspired (2 Timothy 3:16-17), is our foundation for truth.

One concern people sometimes have with lyrics like this is the idea that God doesn’t "chase" us—that it’s up to us to seek Him. And it’s true that we are called to seek God. For example, in Joshua 24:15, we are told to "choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve." Similarly, Isaiah 55:6 says, "Seek the Lord while He may be found." These verses place responsibility on us to seek and choose God.

But does that mean God’s goodness isn’t also pursuing us? The Bible has something to say about that too. For instance, Psalm 23:6 declares, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." The word "follow" here is the Hebrew word radap, which means "to pursue" or "to chase." This suggests that God’s goodness, in particular, is actively seeking after us. It’s not passive; His goodness is in pursuit.

While God Himself doesn’t "chase" us in the sense that He forces us to turn to Him, His goodness and mercy are always present, encouraging and drawing us toward Him. The entirety of Psalm 23 tells of the ways that God's goodness follows us throughout our lives, not waiting passively but pursuing us with the intention of guiding us toward His blessings and love.

We can also see examples of this in other parts of scripture, such as John 6:44, where Jesus says, "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him." The word "draw" here implies that God’s grace is at work in our hearts, pulling us toward Him.

God’s goodness—His blessings, mercy, and grace—are always running after us. But we still have the responsibility to seek Him and respond to His call. Like the shepherd in Luke 15:4-7 who searches for the lost sheep, God’s goodness is on a mission to reach us. Revelation 3:20 reminds us that God took the step to come to the door but it is our responsibility to open when He knocks.

In conclusion, when the song says, "Your goodness is running after me," I believe it aligns with scripture in that it speaks to the active, pursuing nature of God’s goodness. While we are called to seek God, His goodness is always chasing after us, drawing us closer to Him so that we can experience the fullness of life in Him. Psalm 23:6 reminds us that His goodness and mercy are not passive but persistent in their pursuit of our hearts

Time..

 

Do you have the time?

It seems that the most sought after thing in this life is time..  and everything else comes from it. Some give it, some take it, some borrow it, some steal it. 
Monday on our way out to our annual Memorial Day picnic I stopped at the store for a coffee and a gentleman out front held the door for me on the way in and while I was in there he came in and got a coffee. When I was leaving the store he spoke again and commented on the day and wished me a good day. I was heading over to the trash can so I said what I say to any person who looks like they may need something "How are you doing? Do you need anything?" He got what almost looked like embarrassment and said "I could use some money". He went on to tell me about his trade and his injury and how he could not work right now. I think he talked for 5-6 minutes and his face changed and brightened up with each minute he talked. He almost he a little giddy-up in his speech like he wanted to tell more.  When he was finished I had a new appreciation for the health and well being that I enjoy and said a prayer for him. I commented that he had a positive attitude and that was good to see. It seemed to brighten his day that not only was he not ignored as he is probably so used to but actually listened to.I don't know his whole story but I gave him what everyone has, Time.
Children have an intense desire and need to be heard. Not only does it help develop their communication skills but it helps secure that bond between you and your children. Take my 5 year old daughter for instance, she can talk for an hour and when I take the time to stoop down to her level seeing eye to eye, I hold her hands or put my arms around her, it's telling her that I am not only interested but I am abandoning my world and coming into hers and I'm hers for those minutes that she wants to talk. Touching her face or arms while she talks makes that physical connection between her and I. I believe making skin contact with your children in a loving way is very important to developing caring loving individuals. They only do what they see demonstrated in the home. Kids don't walk away because they were loved. We don't get to choose what version or degree of love holds a child from walking away or if it even is that.  Time, Energy and Love are three vitally important aspects of a parent child relationship. You don't get to give them the leftovers of your time, energy and love and just hope its enough. And you don't get to just give them one of the 3 and hope they turn out. They need first priority time. Dads, when we get home from work we don't get to relax with no interruptions until dinner and then go out for sports and come home late. Maybe your projects will sit on the list for months or your hobbies and sports will suffer. Your home may be a mess or hobbies still in the box but time spent with children is time well spent. They need first priority energy. Whether its sports or games with the kids or homework we owe it to them to be prepared and give them the energy and dedication they require. If you have those interests or hobbies that mean a lot to you I believe its ok to get your kids interested and share that interest. But don't forget that your kids will be into it at a whole different level that you are. They will mess it up and make mistakes and if you are super particular and attentive to detail like I am, that raises another level of learning as it does for me. But, be ready to let your children walk away if they are ready or lose interest. What I mean is that if one child is into gardening and then wants to walk away for a few days, it's ok. Dad is still into it and that's what brings them back. We may want our kids to have the same hobbies as us so we can continue, but if they don't want to do it, it's ok. We have to hone who they 'are', not who we want them to be. We can plant and we can water but we can't force them to grow.  We are making an investment in our child's future and there is no other time than this to do it. Don't be that parent that regretfully says "She's 15?? where is my 4 year old I had 'yesterday'?" Try to get your 15 year old that you neglected to sit on your lap or kiss you on the lips! It's probably not happening. My 5 year old daughter refuses to kiss me on the cheek because she says girls always kiss their dad on the lips.  Time flies. It really does. If I am not spending a majority of my time with the kids I feel as though I'm doing them a disservice. Teaching, loving, correcting and guiding them is Top Priority if we don't want regrets later on in life. Parenting is a 24/7 job that never quits. Don't ever give up on teaching and correcting because one day, one time  you will see them remember what you've been reminding them for so long and it will be worth it.
Have you ever let your children ask the Blessing at a meal or pray for protection on a trip or pray in general when going to bed or getting up in the morning? They have faith to be envied. My 4 year old son once prayed at dinner time "Jesus please give us a lot of food and not a lot of bad stuff". How precious is that. When leaving a day trip my 5 year old daughter prayed for the ride home, she asked for protection, asked the Lord to provide and thanked him for the fun day we had and then asked the Lord to send someone in need to us so we can help them with food or money".  Listen when they pray. Listen when they read. listen when they talk. Listen when they interact with each other. It is a precious thing to be able to listen in to your child's conversations. Stop, eavesdrop on them. Listen to the beauty in their voices, the genuine tone in their voices when they play together. If they fight, when they fight don't just break it up and punish, talk it out let them tell their story and guide them into talking it out with each other and end it with them apologizing and forgiving. You are guiding them to a natural response to conflict with each other is to apologize, work it out, forgive and hug.
When you talk to your children don't fall into the habit that so many parents do and treat them like babies in the way you talk and converse with them. Give them purpose give them reason. Standing tall and talking down to them, barking at them does nothing for their self esteem or confidence. Stoop down, hold their hands and make a connection. interact!
People in general need time! You may have a friend that doesn't talk and borders on recluse. But were you around them when they came out of their shell and talked? Did their face brighten and did they get that pep in their attitude? People need other people's attention and time. Have you ever had that conversation where you feel that after 30 minutes you talked for 3 minutes? Sometime people like to hear themselves talk. Next time you are having a conversation take note of how many times you cut off the other person and how much time each talks. Be the one who lets the other one talk. "You can't learn anything while you are talking" Sometime it can make another feel validated, that someone cared enough to listen to what they had to say.
Time seems like it's so valuable and so sought after but it really does not cost anything, when it comes to time no one is rich or poor and no one has a ton of it in the bank. But the funny thing is,,, a lot of times its more valuable than any amount of money.
Kids need it, friends need it, parents and grand parents need it, everyone needs a little bit of it and we have it to give. Couple that up with a handshake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek or the words 'I love you' and you got enough to make someone's day or change their life. You really don't know what's going on in another's mind, it might be just what they needed. Time.

Love them, while you can..

 

Love them... while you can

Written in 2014-

Life is busy, hectic and we are always on the go. But look around you, look at yourself. How much time is spent running around keeping schedules or working late hours & 2 jobs. The Bible says "If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat" II Thessalonians 3:10. But that can't be taken out of context and used as an excuse to work 60-70 hours a week and never being home. "everything in moderation"- In working unnecessary late hours and always having work on your mind you miss out on..... life.... and the lives of those you love. There is nothing that makes me feel more special than what happened to me yesterday when i got home from work, and it happens every day. I opened the front door and Rowan (3) yells "Dadddyyyyyyyyyyy" and runs in for a full speed hug and just hangs out for a few minutes hugging and the occasional kiss, he might then rub my head or pull on my beard and then hug me again. If I were to work til 9PM i'd miss that every day. No extra overtime would be worth missing that from my little man. Anita (4) is so much more grown up. From her I get the same hugs and kisses, but she has a lengthy speech to tell me. Everything from what Rowan did that was naughty that day, to what she played or where she wants to go and what she got to play that day. Tucker, (Happy Birthday Bud) turned 1 today, just grins from ear to ear and jumps around like he's never seen me before. Every hour of overtime I were to work, means one more hour my beautiful wife has to spend with our calm, docile ---er--- wild indian kids by herself. Just the thought of relieving her from the constant of keeping an eye on the rugrats is enough to bring me home. Men, our wives are not here to "do everything they can so we can work 16 hours a day then come home and be too tired to do anything let alone pull our weight. And don't think that because we go to work and work 'Oh so hard all day long' that we are exempt from household chores... not really.... Most of our wives get up when we do and if we took the time to notice them around the house we'd see they work until it's bed time. All the while most husbands think that because they worked 'hard' all day, it's time to relax. Yo, dudes, she worked too, longer, and most of the time, harder. Show your wife not only the respect she deserves, but the respect God tells us to give her. 
There are over 150 verses in the Bible that speak on how a marriage relationship should be structured and carried out, day to day. If a husband and wife read all the verses pertaining to them, follow through and obey them, (married) life will be good. We can't read the ones pertaining to our wives (or husbands for you wives reading) and point out to them what they are doing wrong, because in doing that it makes us 'more' wrong than the thing we are pointing out! 
Love them, and everything else will fall into place. If we did all that we do, in and around our home and family, out of love and always thinking of our spouse first, life would be good. You would not argue, you would not fight, and things that might bring some couples to harsh words would not even be mentioned because you are of one mind, knowing not only what each other would decide or say, but what 'should' be decided and say because it's whats right. Love your spouse, think of them first. 
Not much should have to be said about parents, love them, honor them, respect them. Enough said. Growing up there can be a longing to be old enough to 'make our own decisions' because we are soooo much smarter than our parents and our parents 'just don't understand what it's like'. Sometime kids can get so caught up in there own lives that they forget about their parents. In my opinion once a child is old enough that they don't need their parents to be there for them 24/7,,, the tables should turn and they should be there for their parents 24/7. Especially by the time a young person reaches the age of 21, they should no longer have their parents do the many things they used to. You are an adult now, it's time to take care of your parents like they took care of you. Looking out for them, doing things for them just because you love them. Not that they need that kind of care... because most of them will be extremely capable to take care of themselves. But it's because you love them and acknowledge that they gave everything to you for the first 21 years of your life and you acknowledge that tomorrow is not promised. For those who do not think about those things, it's going to be a long hard journey always looking for handouts and expecting help from them like they are obligated. That's now how it works. You, as a child of your parents, are obligated to look out for them, help them, be there for them and do everything you can for them as a way to show them you love them, appreciate them and acknowledge them for who they are. No longer do you take take take, but it's time to give give give. And everyone has something to give.... time, energy, presence (or presents,lol) conversation etc. And do it out of a desire to do so, not because you feel obligated! Our parents were obligated to be there and take care of us, we need to turn the tables on that and do it out of love and commitment. Stop thinking of yourself! Think of others, your wife, kids, parents, family....... And find out how much more fulfilling life can be when you think of "others" first. And love them because you do. True love for another person is one that can be felt, not heard. The words "I love you" can become redundant if the person hearing them does not feel it first. Don't get me wrong, the words are very important, and need to be heard everyday. If you don't say it already,, start,, to your wife, husband, kids...... just that little thing will make a change in your attitude and theirs. By saying "I love you" you are bringing to the front of your mind and theirs, the fact that you do love them. Years can go by with the words being said on a birthday or Christmas.. but that's sort of like people who only go to church on Easter and Christmas,,, there's not much to it because it's "what you are supposed to do". But saying "I love you" every day changes a mind set. Say it, mean it and act it out. Don't just say 'love'.... Do 'love'. To do that, you need to be there. To be there you need to sacrifice something else.
Demonstrate the kind of love you have for your spouse and kids. You may think to yourself 'they know I love them'.... but do they, for sure, no doubt, 100%....? Have you told them lately?
All this is said with one thought in mind... "Love them, while you can".You will not regret it. 
What you will regret however is never making the transition from taker to giver.  Not seeing your parents, spouse and kids for who they truly are. Not giving the love that you should and that people in our lives deserve. Not saying "I love you" to them. Not stopping and realizing who people are to you. Not appreciating those in your life who truly deserve appreciation. 

Say the words- "I Love You"